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Joke of the Day

"Can you stop making holocaust jokes? My grandfather died in Auschwitz He fell out of a guard tower."

"What do you get when you cross a sheep with a robot? Steel wool"

"Four men are in a boat trying to smoke some cigarettes, but they don't have a lighter. One man throws a cigarette over board and now the whole boat is a cigarette lighter."

"What do you call a dog with no legs? It does not matter the dog is not coming"

"I was struggling to figure out how lightning works Then it struck me"

"What's faster than the speed of light? The speed of *how fast my wife jumps to conclusions*"

"How many Hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Hippies don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in dirty sleeping bags in the woods."

"What do Limas Sweed and Bruce Jenner have in common? Neither can keep track of their balls"

"I've removed swim with dolphins from my bucket list. Mainly cos I can't swim and drowning with dolphins doesn't have quite the same appeal."

"TIL that Kim Kardashian's giant ass has it's own birth certificate, and even has a legal name: Kanye."