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Joke of the Day

"How many Hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Hippies don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in dirty sleeping bags in the woods."

"I hope I can kill my feelings before my liver."

"A snake walks in to a bar... Barman says ""you can't do that""!"

"Two dissectors are talking... The first one says, ""I dissected a women yesterday, who had a clitoris like a pickle"". ""Wow, that big !?"", the second one replies. ""No, that salty""."

"Every single time I go out drinking with unicorns, they use the old ""no pockets"" excuse to stick me with the bill."

"Batman opened a restaurant... But he's serving just desserts."

"What's an ants favourite collectible item Antiques"

"Ray Rice hitting his wife on the elevator... Was wrong on so many levels. And I'll show myself out."

"Today, I saw that my ironing board cover was wrinkled. I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because irony has the word iron in it."

"In London, a man gets robbed every 4.5 minutes. And he's getting fed up with it."