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Joke of the Day

"A cryogenic experiment to freeze people at absolute zero just succeeded. I know because my friend took part in it. Don't worry, he's OK."

"Knock Knock... ""Come in!"""

"If I had the power to time travel, I would mostly just use it to stop past me from eating stuff from the fridge that I'd like to eat now."

"HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR, It's the year of the snake !!! I'm still keep accidentally writing Dragon on all my checks."

"So, I just found out I got some black guys in my family tree... Went to the backyard and found them still hanging there."

"I Bought Some Shoes From a Drug Dealer I don't know what he laced them with but I have been tripping all day."

"Believe it or not, my wife and I were actually matched on Tinder. We'd been married for 12 years."

"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but the light bulb really has to want to change."

"What noise does a ceiling fan make? GO CEILING!!! WHOOOHOOO!!!! YOUR NUMBER ONE!! YAY, CEILING RULES!!!"

"Today I broke a G string while fingering A minor Dammit, playing guitar is hard!"