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Joke of the Day
"Believe it or not, my wife and I were actually matched on Tinder. We'd been married for 12 years."
Next Joke
"My girlfriend told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a web developer."
"What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing. Because he's Jewish."
"A skeleton walks into a bar and says, ""Give me a beer and a mop."""
"FRIEND: Try to relate to her. (Later on Date) ME: *nervously* Can I be your cousin?"
"A man took his family to the zoo The only animal in the zoo was a dog. It was a Shih Tzu."
"If you only speak one language you have no excuse to suck at it."
"What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? *(choking sounds)*"
"Boss: Are you high? Me: [trying to photocopy a dog] are you a cop?"
"Heard today that most feminists are lesbians that's why they can't think straight."