176383

Joke of the Day

"How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Put peanut butter on it."

"There are 20 IT Professionals working on a government server 18 of them are Chinese"

"What does a dog like to wear when it's exercising? Pants."

"An elephant and a camel are chatting at a party The elephant asks ""Why do you have your tits on your back?"" ""YOU KNOW FOR SOMEONE WHOSE DICK IS IN THEIR FACE THAT'S A REALLY STUPID QUESTION!"""

"Q: What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away? A: Root position cords."

"What's your favorite preservative salt, vinegar, lemon? Mine's embalming fluid."

"Maybe it's chicken that tastes like everything."

"Patient asks his doctor... A patient asks his doctor, ""If I gave up women, wine, and song, would I live longer?"" The doctor replies, ""No, but it will feel longer."""

"Interviewer: why did you leave your last job? Me: hmm that's a tough one. I guess I'd probably have to say listening is my biggest strength"

"What's the difference between... deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are over a dollar; deer nuts are under a buck. (old but good)"