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Joke of the Day

"All I'm saying is if I'm not allowed to give a monkey a gun at the zoo they should have a sign."

"What do you call a sad gay Brit? Aaa bloody bummer"

"So I just started my own indoor ship production company. Production was great, until sales started going through the roof."

"Google would like to use your current location. Allow/Deny? Allow *100 Google employees throw a party at my house*"

"Why do Mexican families make tamales on Christmas Eve? So the kids have something to unwrap on Christmas morning."

"Massive victory for business ethics advocates! After years of negotiation and hard work, an industry-wide agreement has finally banned opticians from using contracts containing small print."

"Gay Dinosaur What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass"

"[Interrupts the wedding vows] it's open bar right?"

"Me: *braids girl's hair* Girl: *turns around, terrified* Me: The movie was boring me... *leans back in seat* *eats popcorn*"

"My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex for my birthday It was mighty kind of them, but they misunderstood when I said ""I wanna watch"""