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Joke of the Day

"[Duck support group] ""After i lost Barbara I was doing bread 5, maybe 6 times a day"" *the other ducks nod sympathetically*"

"My sex life is just like star wars: Its either Han Solo, or i have to use the force."

"You need to carry women in your arms; they will climb on your back by themselves."

"What's green and smells like bacon? Kermit's fingers"

"My mom wants a new cooking skillet for Christmas. I haven't got the dough, but oh well, we'll see how things pan out."

"There's now a morning after pill for guys. It changes your blood type."

"*Sleeping Beauty gives rotten apple to Obama* *Obama faints* Only a kiss from his one true love will save him *Biden takes out lipstick*"

"Little Billy come out to his Dad... - Dad, I think I'm gay. - That's strange, when you were young, you did not seem to like anal sex."

"I tried to join the Kleptomaniacs Anonymous meeting but all the seats were taken."

"Border patrol: Why do you have 100s of DVDs of Top Gun stuffed into your seat cushions Me: *sweating* BP: They aren't even illegal"