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Joke of the Day

"I said to my GF ""Please get me a newspaper."" ""Don't be silly,"" she replied ""you can borrow my iPad."" That spider never knew what hit it!"

"Last Night my Fiance asked me to tell her something sweet Me "" Hey I'm never gonna give you up... never gonna let you down..."" Her ""That's it the engagement is off. Goodnight."""

"Why couldn't Mike Tyson go to the laundromat? Because it was clothed."

"how many hipsters does it take to put in a lightbulb? its a realy obscure number, you've probably never heard of it"

"How many Dell Service Reps does it take to change a light bulb? I don't know, I am on hold."

"Is this why we're in a recession? Because babies were trading our stocks?"

"A street preacher told me that gays cause floods, & my first reaction was to call my friend Ben & ask him what other rad shit he could do"

"I used to be addicted to the Hokey Pokey. But I turned myself around."

"An inmate went messing, and his cellmate, a cannibal, claimed he had eaten him The warden didn't believe him, so the cannibal finally threw up his hands out of frustration."

"If the person next to you on a flight wont stop talking, take out a Skymall catalog & eat the entire thing while never breaking eye contact."