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Joke of the Day

"I used to be addicted to the Hokey Pokey. But I turned myself around."

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"How do you hear a hormone? Pay $100 for 30 minutes"
"Why did the Trump inauguration look so small? Camouflage!"
"How do you know when someone is gluten free? Don't worry, they'll tell you. ""Exit stage right...."""
"""You will not marry him! He is not of our kind!"" But we're in love! ""It is forbidden!"" *whale elopes with submarine*"
"My 3 yr old puts himself in timeout whenever he doesn't want to do something we ask him to. Pretty sure he just beat the system."
"What's grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow? An elephant rolling down a hill with a daisy in its mouth!"
"She can't wrestle... But I'd love to see her box."
"Accountants aren't boring people They just get excited about boring things."
"Why did Frankenstein squeeze his girlfriend to death? He had a crush on her."