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Joke of the Day

"An inmate went messing, and his cellmate, a cannibal, claimed he had eaten him The warden didn't believe him, so the cannibal finally threw up his hands out of frustration."

"What is the difference between a pack of pygmies and a girls track team? The pack of pygmies is a bunch of cunning runts."

"Autocorrect just turned ""stepdaughter"" into ""lying manipulative drug addict that lives in the basement and brings dudes in thru the slider"""

"Why aren't people from the Westboro Baptist Church archaeologists? Because they are *homo*phobes."

"Why won't Caitlyn Jenner go to Taco Bell? She doesn't want another Bell not accepting her for who she is."

"Optimists see a glass that's half full Pessimists see a glass that's half empty Engineers see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be"

"They say you are what you eat, so lay off the nuts."

"What is WILL.I.AM going to be called after he dies? WILL.I.WAS"

"Look... don't end your presentation with ""Are there any questions?"" & then get all pissy when I ask if you can ride a unicycle."

"If you can't do it naked, it's not worth doing."