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Joke of the Day

"My bf thinks I'm obsessed with Linkin Park so he broke up with me... But in the end, it doesn't even matter"

"Why Can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because drawing a perfect circle is impossible. Also, he has Parkinson's disease."

"If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and barks like a pig, then I probably took too many pills."

"And the Lord said unto John, ""Come forth and you shall receive eternal life"". But John came in fifth and won a toaster."

"Why do people say that Canadians always want to establish that they're Canadian? As a Canadian, this offends me."

"I hate to rub it in, but lotion doesn't really work otherwise."

"Q: Why can't blondes put in light bulbs? A: They keep breaking them with the hammers."

"There is no ""me"" in team. No, wait, yes there is!"

"Why does little sally have a limp? SHE WENT TO JARED!"

"It's OK, batteries...no one includes me either."