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Joke of the Day

"Hey 300lb lady, stop bragging about your cup size. It doesn't count when your entire body is double D."

"I dropped french class because my teach was a dick... I was late on the first day and he said i was a retard."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Avalanche Barbie ...buried in 16 feet of snow"

"How do Germans tie their shoes? In little nazis"

"What's the difference between my ex and my toaster? It only takes 120 volts to turn on my toaster."

"Whenever I see an elderly person who looks lost and confused, I stop and take a moment to feed 'em a peanut."

"Jehovah's Witnesses door-to-door success rate would be a lot higher if they partnered up with the Girl Scouts & started selling cookies ..."

"10 years ago parents were like ""be careful what you put on the web"" and we were all ""lol. old people."" now none of us can ever be President."

"How many times does it take for a woman on period to change a lightbulb? IT WILL TAKE THE TIME IT FUCKING NEEDS !!!"

"Who is the favorite author of someone addicted to ecstasy? Steven King. JK Rowling."