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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I see an elderly person who looks lost and confused, I stop and take a moment to feed 'em a peanut."

"What is the fastest speed a woman can go ? 68, because when she turns 69 she blows a rod."

"Researchers found that students of a teacher who regularly took LSD lived extraordinarily long lives. It seems his pupils die late."

"What do you find in an elephants graveyard ? Elephantoms !"

"Why do LGBT men typically have their whisker-hairs depilated? So their skin won't feel so abrucive"

"""Hi, I'm here for Paradox Club."" Actually this is Oxymoron Club. ""Ok, same difference."" *looks at group* Oh, this guy is good."

"Cute Pirate Joke What is a pirate's favorite fast food restaurant? Well, you might think that it'd be Arrrrby's, but they are actually quite fond of Long John Silvers."

"A guy walks into a Starbucks and orders a tall blonde to go... The girl behind him then leaves."

"Boxing is like a dance, a dance where you punch your dance partner until he doesn't want to dance anymore."

"*pulls fire alarm in apt building* *everyone runs outside* [Me on megaphone]IVE GATHERED U HERE B/C SOME OF U STILL HAVE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS UP"