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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I see an elderly person who looks lost and confused, I stop and take a moment to feed 'em a peanut."

"We burried my grandmother last week... So she's probably dead by now."

"What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex will make your day, but anal sex will make your whole week."

"I went to the local buy and sell to see if there were any cool old jack in the boxes. But nothing jumped out at me."

"Dating a woman in 5 easy steps: 1. Be attentive 2. Don't be too attentive 3. Show interest 4. Don't show too much interest 5. Seek therapy"

"Those magical three words you've been waiting so long to hear. Red, or white?"

"What do you call a rock group of 4 men who don't sing or play music? Mount Rushmore. ^^Or ^^Nickelback. ^^I'm ^^so ^^sorry."

"Elephant and a naked man An elephant walks up to a man who was not wearing clothes and asked, ""How do you breathe out of that thing??"""

"I wanted a screamer or a moaner for Christmas Instead I got a sweater."

"I have three kids, one of each."