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Joke of the Day

"What do you get if you cross a rooster with a jar of peanut butter? A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth."

"The awkward moment when you say, ""I love you,"" then the pizza delivery guy says, ""That'll be $12.46, please."""

"What do you call a barn full of black people? Antique farm equipment."

"Psychic buys clothing Employee: How about this one? Psychic: That shirt is too small Employee: You didn't even try it on Psychic: I'm a medium"

"My phone just changed, 'calendar' to 'cake radar' and now I really wish I had that."

"""building-building building building building-building building"" (translatiom: structur-making tower makimg another structure-making tower)"

"Why did the lead singer of Drowning Pool lose his job at Starbucks? HE LET BISCOTTI HIT THE FLOOR"

"So I walked by a restaurant in Maine! It had a sign up "" Happy hour special: Lobster tail and beer!"" I said to myself. Jesus, my three favorite things!"

"I don't want a boyfriend. Just someone to call me beautiful, love me right, and fix the clogged drain in my bathtub. Mostly the drain thing."

"Always remember, there's someone out there for everyone... You'll probably never find them and die alone, but they're out there."