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Joke of the Day

"Nice Fitbit bro. I didn't realize that they had a model you can wear around your ankle."

"Two Guys Peeing off a bridge- One guy looks over at the other- ""Man, This water is Cold! ""Yeah...It's deep, Too-"

"I told my friends I found my Lasik surgeon on Yelp and they were horrified. Or interested, I'm not sure, I can't make out faces so well."

"Best way to get a girl to come home with you is to tell her you own 3 lava lamps seriously what girl wouldn't want to see 3 lava lamps"

"reflection on human being in the world there are two kinds of persons: those who finish what they started and those"

"What does a footballer and a magician have in common ? Both do hat tricks !"

"Why doesn't Oprah Winfrey have sex with her husband? She doesn't have a husband."

"S is my favorite letter because it changes biscuit to biscuits."

"I was in the supermarket today and the cashier asked the foreign couple in front of me if they needed help packing their bags Fuck me, we only voted out yesterday give them a chance"

"So sick of musicians telling lovers in songs that they'd give them stuff if they only had it to give. That's too easy, assholes."