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Joke of the Day
"Home is the place where you can scratch your butt and balls exactly where it's itching"
Next Joke
"It's fine if you wanna shoot a buncha folks as long as you start with yourself. That's my only rule about it."
"Why-Fi: The existential Internet connection."
"oooh pretty wing tattoos on your back, do they symbolize how you have no idea how big wings need to be to carry your weight"
"Bruce Willis reaches for his iPhone but accidentally grabs his iPad and screams because he thinks he's shrunk"
"I told you I'm busy! Who are you going to believe, me or the last 20 tweets I posted?"
"The worktops in my kitchen were put in by a professional counter-fitter... Turns out they were fake."
"Martin Shkreli in jail: ""Can I have an aspirin?"" Jail: ""Yes. That will be $197,000."""
"My GPS is basically just one more man in my life who I turn on and then ignore."
"Groucho Marx once said: Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read."