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Joke of the Day

"The UK is horrified by even the slightest glaze of snowy weather. I ordered a bowl of Frosted Flakes this morning and they closed the roads."

"A guy walked into a bar... ouch"

"Where I from? Please tell me."

"A police man came up to me with a sniffer dog and said, ""This dog tells me you're on drugs."" ""I'm on drugs? You're the one talking to dogs"""

"Roses are red, violets are yellow, lilacs are cyan, carnations are rainbowish, this LSD pill is lovely."

"Why can't the dutch fly? Because they netherland."

"I just realized Alaska has some really weird city names Did Juneau that?"

"What's the best way to stop a runaway horse? Bet on it."

"Birthdays are great... ... but too many of them will kill you."

"*Young Jesus plays with food* Mary: you're not playing until you finish your bread and fish! *ugh* *touches food* *it multiplies* NOOOOOO!!!"