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Joke of the Day

"Roses are red, violets are yellow, lilacs are cyan, carnations are rainbowish, this LSD pill is lovely."

"What do you call an interracial dwarf actor? A half cast"

"How's havin' a dick? It comes in handy."

"I used to hate peer pressure, but my friends got me into it."

"""honey why is our water bill so high?"" *water bill sits there holding a bong* hahahah duuuude i don't know man. DORITOS. DO WE HAVE DORITOS?"

"Elf cop:""We got a robbery in progress on Candy Cane lane. Hit the light Rudolf! *Rudolf sticks nose through sunroof*"

"China Joke So I was walking around the other day and I saw a Chinese guy fall out of a 2nd story window. I ran up and in English yelled, ""Are you ok?!?"" He replied, ""I am fine, thank you, and you?"""

"Some bloke on FB called me a clown. Now I've got to go hide under his bed with a knife cause that's what clowns do."

"Where did Dr. Pepper get his degree? The University of Minnesoda"

"When you criticize a person, walk a mile in his shoes... then you'll be a mile away and in his shoes."