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Joke of the Day
"What do you call 4 mexicans in quicksand . . . cuatro cinco"
Next Joke
"What do you call a Sasquatch that is never on time? Not Yeti"
"Soon as I finish untangling these earphones I'm goin to google who made them & I'm going to ask them to invent shoelaces that tie themselves"
"Remember when you were a kid and the teacher said you can be anything you want to be? Luckily I chose lower middle class and overweight."
"My wife found out I was cheating after she found the letters I was hiding.... She got mad and said she's never playing Scrabble with me again."
"If you're not using Social Media to spout your uninformed opinion then you're totally missing the point of the Internet."
"Who does a dead pharaoh talk to? His mummy."
"There's no reason to be tailgating me when I'm doing 50 in a 35. And those flashing lights on top of your car looks ridiculous!"
"Why is the cinematography of pornos so impressive? Because it's all done one handed."
"My wife and I decided not to have kids. The kids are taking it pretty hard."