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Joke of the Day

"COP: can anybody else describe the suspect? JOHN LENNON: he got feet down below his knees COP: anybody"

"LGBT should rename themselves BLTG. It's more tasteful."

"Dear media: There's nothing shocking about celebrities going topless, getting drunk, or falling over. nnLet me know when they read a book."

"What do Nicki Minaj and the Philadelphia police department have in common? Reclaiming black bodies."

"Ana from Frozen was upset it didn't snow on her Wedding day, but everything has a silver lining because she got 8 inches that night"

"Tip: When the cop asks you ""Do you know how fast you were going?"" do NOT respond with ""I know, right?!"""

"Roses are brown Violets are brown Who took a shit in my garden?"

"Nursing Problems As a Nurse, its my job to have patients - Oh the irony in how the 'patients' have absolutely no patience for me. My job is to save your ass..(colonoscopy etc.) Not Kiss It. :D"

"Did you hear about the cannibal who past his uncle in the jungle?"

"I feel like we really lowered our expectations of what constitutes magic when we began using it to describe markers"