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Joke of the Day

"Every so often I'll listen to my wife talk non stop for hours at a time to remind myself why people wander into traffic without looking."

"I was on holiday in Belgium... Apparently it was obvious that I am German, because an elderly man came to me and said ""you lost something "". ""What?"" I asked surprised. ""The war"" he replied."

"The officer said, ""you drinking?"" I said, ""you buying?"" We just laughed and laughed. I need bail money."

"Two nuns... There are two nuns in a bath. One says, ""where's the soap?"" The other says, ""it does rather, doesn't it!"""

"So Aaron Hernandez is going to prison... He's going in a tight end, and coming out a wide receiver."

"What's a computer's favourite snack? Fried cache-ews."

"What's so great about having sex while camping? Its fucking in tents!"

"I can really only think of one thing worse than genocide. Jews."

"What was the name of the Mongolian warlord's favorite cow? Angus Khan"

"What doesn't kill you might come back to finish the job off so keep your wits about you."