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Joke of the Day

"I was on holiday in Belgium... Apparently it was obvious that I am German, because an elderly man came to me and said ""you lost something "". ""What?"" I asked surprised. ""The war"" he replied."

"Who are the best readers in the world? Suicide jumpers : hundreds of stories in a few seconds"

"I've dated a vegetarian, trust me, they put meat in their mouth."

"What's the difference between a red bucket and a green spade One is a red bucket and one is a green spade."

"How can you tell when Halloween is coming too soon? The sight of premature Ejack-o-lanterns in the neighborhood. I'm a Dad so this joke is OK"

"It seems I passed my mummy embalming exam... It was a no brainer!"

"When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me $85 That's why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship EDIT: Didn't excpect to get this many upvotes. Thanks!"

"A lady got off the train so I finished her crossword. Turns out she'd just gone to the toilet and now she's back and she hates me."

"Just had my first threesome but it was not what I had envisioned. The other two guys seemed to like it just fine."

"I played the word ""mature"" in a game of Scrabble. My friend played ""immature"" and got the Triple Word Score so I flipped the board over."