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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I tell dad jokes he laughs."

"Buy a boat, name it Relation. Now you can tell people that you have a relationship."

"Oh, you said floppy DISK. *pulls pants back up* Yeah, I don't know what that is."

"Why doesn't Jesus enjoy manicures or pedicures? Because they always try to mess with his nails."

"It's been a great year, it fact, it was so great... I remember like it was yesterday."

"What do you call an attraction to your own mummy? A dedipus complex."

"A peacock is just a chicken made by Versace."

"Why are pirates angry after leaving the bathroom? Because after ""p"" comes ""irate"""

"Jesus walks into a motel He gives the guy at the counter 3 nails and says, ""can you put me up for the night?"""

"*Spoiler* US Presidential Election Result Leaked The dodgy, incompetent, unfit, slightly psychotic, rich, possibly criminal one who should 't even be in the race, wins."