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Joke of the Day
"Why doesn't Jesus enjoy manicures or pedicures? Because they always try to mess with his nails."
Next Joke
"[Spelling bee] Judge: ""Your word is unhelpful."" Kid: ""Can you use it in a sentence please?"" Judge: ""Nope."""
"Q: How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb they screw in a hot tub."
"I saw a man the other day arguing with a traffic sign The sign looked incredibly uncomfortable. It really wanted him to Stop."
"What do you call a person who continues to touch up on something that is already perfect, and thus ruining whatever it was? George Lucas."
"I broke my finger today... But on the other hand I am completely fine."
"When you assassinate, you make an ass out of ass innate."
"I knew this guy who would ask men at church, ""is your tie made out of bird cloth?"" <blank stare> ""It's cheep, cheep, cheep."""
"Police officer: what'd you take, you're sweating, shaking and going crazy.... Perp: nothing sir, just searching for The Lord!"
"Dear Jesus- please let all my texts go to the correct person- Amen"