175601

Joke of the Day

"What type of cheese is made backwards? Edam"

"My 3yo's bedtime stories include: ""Three-Hour Run-On Sentence,"" followed by, ""Ask For a Drink 500 Times,"" and finally, ""You Skipped a Page."""

"Why does Paris have tree lined streets? Because the German army likes to march in the shade."

"How do you drown a hipster? Convince them breathing under water is the new fad."

"Why doesn't god like bacon? Because he isn't real."

"I'd do anything to never be hungover again Except stop drinking"

"Why do Japanese people love mechs so much? Because of all the metal in their brains."

"Never treat someone like an iPhone when they treat you like a BlackBerry."

"I have nothing in common with people that learn from their mistakes"

"Tell the Starbucks barista that your name is Voldemort. Watch for those who don't flinch when the name is called. They will be your allies."