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Joke of the Day

"What do you call... Nuts on a wall? - walnuts Nuts on a chest? - chestnuts Nuts on your chin? - a dick in your mouth!"

"If Oprah took over Favstar, everyone would get a trophy."

"Wrong hole. No. Still the wrong hole. Only ONE in each hole! Ugh. Here! I'll show you. -Helping my kid put on a swimsuit."

"My prison cell-mate just asked me if I was tight. Why does he care about how I spend my money?"

"I'm about two tissues away from shoving a tampon up my nose."

"Where did Little Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!"

"The word ""Caesar"" has always bothered me. It looks like a and e are mad at each other."

"As of now, I only know of three Jewish holidays: Hanukkah The Bar Mitzvah The Oscars"

"If by ""unload the dishwasher"" you mean take out clean utensils as I need them, then yes I unloaded the dishwasher."

"""I'd like a nice stiff entendre please."" - Want me to make it a double? ""I'll just take it as it comes."""