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Joke of the Day

"You're fat and you need to diet... I won't sugarcoat it because you'll eat that too."

"I can't wait til my kids become adults so I can go over their houses & throw clean laundry all over the floor."

"What's a bicyclists favorite letter? A! (hands raised up)"

"""My nose is going to grow now"" said Pinocchio, rending a paradoxical black hole in the fabric of space-time."

"Next time your sit at a McDonald's playland and a parent asks you, ""Which one is yours?"" Say, ""I haven't picked one out yet!"" It's worth it."

"So Mickie Mouse says to Minnie, ""I want a divorce... To which Minnie replies, ""Are you fucking crazy!?"" Mickie says ""No, I'm fucking Daisy"""

"I think my dog wants to be a carpenter. He likes roofing."

"What do you get when you use the 3rd Unforgivable Curse on a pornstar? Erotic cadaver."

"I swapped my wife's parachute around with her backpack. Now when the bitch goes on her stupid camping holiday, all she will have is a parachute. *copypaste from sickipedia.org*"

"Today Mother phoned asked me what I was doing . I said I was on Google maps and looking at her house .She asked if I could see her waving ."