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Joke of the Day

"I wish robot servants were affordable already."

"What's one advantage of electing a woman president of the United States? We wouldn't have to pay her as much."

"My girlfriend used to do flashy shows on a chair for me. It was electrical."

"I burned my hand on the stove. On the bright side, now I have a black girlfriend."

"Bikini season is right around the corner...But so is Chipotle"

"My girlfriend told me she's going to break up with me if I don't stop with these nosebleeds... So I tell her ""Hey, if you can find better tickets, YOU look for them!"""

"How do fish lose weight? They Swim-fast."

"A friend asked me if every sentence has to include a vegetable I said not nessacelery"

"Where did the Grim Reaper find his missing keys? On Death's drawer."

"I can't believe my computer has the audacity to edit audio"