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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend told me she's going to break up with me if I don't stop with these nosebleeds... So I tell her ""Hey, if you can find better tickets, YOU look for them!"""

Next Joke
 
"Why is it worse this time around? Thermal cameras mean I can't save anyone by hiding them in my roof."
"To any ex-military that live on my street I apologize for whatever messages we may be sending, 2yo has discovered light switches"
"A girl went to the village shaman She asked him ""I saw a dog in my dream and he was licking my foot. What does it means?"" The shaman replied ""It means that your other half will come soon"""
"Why do flamingos stand on one leg? Because if they didn't stand on any leg they would fall"
"All you need is love And a super low IQ to believe that."
"A dyslexic walks in to a bra"
"Men need 100% talent to succeed in life....... Women need only 4%..... because the remaining 36+24+36 helps."
"A man's work is never done. ""...Something both men and women can agree on!"""
"Which hand would you use to pick up a dangerous snake ? Someone else's !"