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Joke of the Day

"I join any line I see if it's long enough. All those people can't be wrong!"

"What's the difference between a garbanzo and a chick pea? I've never had a garbanzo on my chest."

"Don't tell me what your cats' names are, I'll call'em what I want. Oh, Mittens & Snuggles? WRONG. THAT'S WILDSTYLE & THAT'S SNACKMOUTH."

"My buddy is doing a semester abroad. I would be perfectly content doing a broad a semester."

"What do you call a loaf baked in a zoo? Bread in captivity."

"What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? You pull the pin and throw it back."

"Pokemon GO is trying to fix its servers... It's not very effective."

"Why did the fetus kill his twin? There wasn't enough womb for the two of them!"

"*live news report - You survived a fall of thousands of feet... - Yes. - Parachute failed? - Parachute? Haha. No. It was raining centipedes."

"""Daddy, are we poor?"" Compared to the vast majority of humans on earth? No. ""Compared to my friends?"" Oh yes, sweety. As the very dirt."