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Joke of the Day

"""Trump is a good businessman"" He has a failed steak biz, a failed vodka biz & failed casinos. HOW DO YOU SCREW UP STEAK, VODKA & GAMBLING"

"[1st date] Her: we should keep religion out of this *religion gets up & leaves the table* Me: see what u did? *I get up and chase after it*"

"I just read an article about a woman who killed her husband, boiled his body, and turned it into homemade jelly she kept in her pantry! It was really jarring."

"CW: You're not wearing a costume. M: Yes I am. CW: You're dressed as yourself? M: No. I'm a serial killer. We look just like everyone else."

"What's the difference between a dog and a cyclist? When you run over a dog you don't have to go back and get the GoPro."

"I've been working on a new type of martial arts that involves the taking of money from Hispanics. TakeJuan'sdough."

"What happens when a fork and a spoon get into a fight? Civilwar!"

"Q5: How do you ask a dinosaur to lunch? A: Tea Rex?"

"So a guy wants to live on a Danish island... He finds that the island is empty."

"I bought some green apples about a week ago I can't believe they're still not ripe"