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Joke of the Day

"I lost my phone when it was on vibrate I guess if I loved it so much I should have put a ring on it"

"There's an epidemic in Britain that makes vulnerable young women inexplicably attracted to douchebags who miss leg day."

"I'm sorry Mr. Simmons. I really enjoy babysitting little Timmy, but I'm only 14. I need real money, not bitcoin."

"I just took the garbage out. In 3D."

"Pretty upsetting that gummy worms are actual size but gummy bears are not."

"How does Moses make coffee? Hebrews it :)"

"Copyright In India, copyright means the right to copy."

"My friend David lost his I.D. Now we just call him Dave."

"A member of the undead said I was prejudiced against his kind... It's simply not true. I have lots of wight friends."

"If all the Domino's employees in the world held hands, you'd have to make your own pizza."