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Joke of the Day

"Two chemists walk in a bar... The first one said: ""Can I have a glass of H2O?"" The second one said: ""I'd like some H2O too"" The second man died."

"I told her it's been a while. She told me that was fine. It's just like riding a bike. Now she's mad I checked her for proper inflation"

"How do hens encourage their football teams ? They egg them on !"

"If you want to understand who loves you more, your wife or your dog, lock them both on the balcony After three hours unlock them and see who's happier to see you"

"Just found out my best friend is on Match.com... but I can't make fun of him about it because then he'll wanna know why I was browsing single men on Match.com."

"there are some really great cocktails you can have when it gets cold. Gin and coffee, gin and hot water, microwaved gin, go nuts"

"My mum says I don't know anything about colourless gases. But ammonia little boy."

"I just dropped a fart that sounded like I got the wrong answer on a game show."

"I always like to keep $7000.00 on me in case I wanna stop at Whole Foods and get some fruit"

"I'm eating for six, according to the serving size on every single package of everything ever."