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Joke of the Day

"Two chemists walk in a bar... The first one said: ""Can I have a glass of H2O?"" The second one said: ""I'd like some H2O too"" The second man died."

"Waiter: Is Pepsi okay? Me: Is Kohl's cash okay?"

"Reese Witherspoon was arrested Friday night. If some rag doesn't use ""REESE IS FALLING TO PIECES"" as a headline then this world is bullshit."

"Did you hear about the man who had sex with a parrot? He got chirpes, and the bad news is...it's untweetable."

"At 17, Joan of Arc led the French to victory and I just looked for my phone while talking on it."

"Just realized that 90% of Disney cartoons involve lying about your identity to get someone to love you."

"What do you call a cow masturbating? Beef stroganoff."

"What do you call a pig that votes? Polled pork."

"Growing up, whenever I told my father, 'It's really nice out!'... He'd reply, 'Yeah, I had it out a minute ago, I thought it was great, too!' And so went my childhood..."

"What is the worse thing for a guy to say after sex? My name is Barry Allen"