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Joke of the Day

"If the speed of light is 186,000 miles/sec., what's the speed of darkness?"

"Alcohol: Because no great story ever started with someone eating salad."

"I was really disappointed with Walmart There were only four of them in stock."

"What is the difference between a pub and an elephant fart? One is a bar room, and one is a Barooooooooooooom!"

"What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? ....getting her out of the wheelchair."

"Adding Up by Juan & Juan"

"""Traaains"" - traveling zombies"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there was too much pride on his side."

"To: ALL STAFF Subject: FW: RE: RE: FW: FW: FW: RE: RE: FW: RE: RE: FW: FW: How to Effectively Use the E-Mail Subject Line"

"""She queefed violently, immediately fogging the windows of my Volvo wagon. I knew then I belonged to her."" - from my new novel, NIGHT SOIL"