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Joke of the Day

"What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? ....getting her out of the wheelchair."

"What do pirates of the 21st century wear? An iPadth."

"What's the difference between black people and cancer? The cancer evolves."

"[God & his assistant making giraffes] ASST: Say ""when"" once the neck is long enough, k? *God is on his iPhone not really paying attention*"

"My girlfriend complained that I never listen to her. At least that's what I think she said."

"I'm confused, why does the Gangnam Style guy want to launch a nuclear attack on the US?"

"I was in Ethiopia and I thought I may as well have a threesome... ...you know - two birds, one stone."

"What's the difference between Reddit's CEO and Hitler? There's no ""L"" in Pao."

"What's the difference between an illegal Mexican and ET? ET looked better, smelled better, learned English, didn't claim benefits, had his own fucking bike, and wanted to go home!"

"My dad thought it would be a good idea to show my girlfriend my baby photos. ""You haven't changed at all."" she laughed. ""That's enough of the naked ones, please."" I told him."