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Joke of the Day

"Reporter: How do you feel that your proposal was turned down by Congress? Obama: Well, I've alw-- Biden: [grabs mic] TURNED DOWN FOR WHAT?"

"if somone acidentaly walks in while ur in the bathroom, do not react at all. this avoids embarasment & makes them wonder if they are a ghost"

"I ate 2 pieces of string... When they came out they were tied together. I shit you knot."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Clay ! Clay who ? Clay on Sam !"

"A black women names all of her 4 children Tyrone... How did she tell them apart? She looked at their last names..."

"Can someone help me, I can't remember,,, Did Sarah Jessica Parker get an Oscar for Sea Biscuit?"

"Scientists have discovered a drug that can increase a woman's libido 100%. yeah. Its called jewelry."

"I'm a Vegan Rasta... If I cannot smoke it, then I cannot eat it."

"If there's more than one apocalypse, is it apocalypses or apocali? I just want to be ready."

"I feel a spree coming on. It's either shopping or killing, I haven't decided yet."