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Joke of the Day

"According to this grocery list I've written on my hand, I've invented a new language."

"Why is C afraid of D? Because DEEZ NUTS!"

"Keep calm and pretend today isn't Monday."

"Awww, look. My middle finger likes you!"

"Someone asked me, ""How can you celebrate Christmas if you don't believe in God?"" I responded with, ""How can you celebrate Valentine's Day if nobody loves you?"""

"What was Tigger doing in the toilet? Looking for Pooh"

"I put my middle finger up as soon as I start driving, and if another driver does something really good, I take it down for a second."

"""Eat my pussy, you salty whore!"" Said the chef working at a Chinese food restaurant to the prostitute who just spilled her salt on herself and was reluctant to eat the meal before her."

"What's the difference between a tiger and a lion ? A tiger has the mane part missing !"

"One of the most romantic things a rose can do for another rose is leave a trail of human body parts from the front door to the bedroom."