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Joke of the Day

"Awww, look. My middle finger likes you!"

"Did you hear about the fat chick I fucked on the elevator? It was wrong on so many levels."

"Good news / bad news The good news is - the other day, I found a really good porn site. The bad news is - all of the web pages are stuck together."

"why are narwhals so sexually attracted to everything? because they are horny"

"What do you call an Irishman sitting on your front porch? Paddy O'Furniture"

"What did the Mexican shopkeeper say to the thief? That's Nachos."

"I didn't believe it when they told me the government had accidentally opened a portal to another dimension while trying to spy on the Russians... But I guess stranger things have happened."

"My girlfriend just dumped me for talking too much about video games (alternate) But my preferred style in bed is up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, start."

"A man with a gun shot his keyboard it typed POW"

"Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms"