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Joke of the Day

"I'm thinking about murdering Lorde When the cops ask what I was doing that night, I'll just say I was out shooting Heroine."

"If you don't believe that Love is Blind. Look at Howard Wolowitz and Bernadette Rostenkowski."

"I have cancer. I can't sleep. Entertain me - tell me a joke about terminal illness or insomnia."

"Why doesn't Santa have any kids? Because he only comes once a year and when he does, it's down a chimney."

"I understand the face situation but you don't have to be ugly on the inside too"

"I was mugged today... I was mugged in an alley today, all they took was my mood ring. I'm not sure how I feel about that."

"It's not a walk of shame if you leave on a pogo stick."

"DON'T STOP BELIEVING! .....but feel free to be somewhat skeptical from time-to-time"

"They call cat people crazy but we're not the ones outside at 5AM every morning putting fresh dog poop into tiny baggies."

"If a rapper named e came out as gay He would say E=MCQUEERED"