175025

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a shop that sells aquatic vessels? A boat-ique. ...I'll get my coat."

"What do you say to a crazy person who's talking to themselves? Hey, the person you're talking to said to give me a few bucks."

"Bear of bad news: Hey, sport. You might wanna be sitting down. Ready? Oh god how do I put this? I'm gonna have to maul the shit out of you."

"George refuses to date a woman when he sees her on 2 different dating apps. G:""It's too desperate."" J:""How'd you find out?"" G:""I'm on both."""

"My wife is on a tropical food diet and the house if full of the stuff... It's enough to make a mango crazy."

"What's the similarity between the unborn Chinese female and this joke? [removed]"

"A drum set falls out of a window... Ba dum tssh!"

"How do you keep an Idiot occupied? [Click here to find out]( http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1v1wqm/how_do_you_keep_an_idiot_occupied/)"

"25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness. Which is really scary because that means that 75% are running around untreated."

"You should know you'll get loud when you start drinking. It says right there on the label, ""Alcohol by volume."""