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Joke of the Day

"""Give me 'bored.' Give me 'late for lunch.' Scowl at a tree. Scowl at a tree. Look at a bird like you hate it."" - book jacket photographers."

"I keep a knife in my Bible so if someone wants to kill me, I ask to read it & when I get to the 6th Commandment, I stab them in the face."

"What do you call a very religious person who sleep walks? A Roman Catholic."

"The Dirtiest Dad Joke Every time my dad drives by a Little Caesars Pizza he says ""5 dollars hot and ready....I used to know a girl like that"" he says it EVERY TIME and thinks he's hillarious"

"Helping a few people complete their bucket list so they will just die already."

"eer booze and fun!' 'I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double. The bartender brought out a guy who looked just like me."

"Black rotten roses & run over kittens Teeth falling out & a test is unwritten Naked in public becoming a meme Theseareafewofmyterribledreams"

"what do you call the act of masturbation before you sleep? the stroke of midnight."

"Amoeba: dad, how was I made? Amoeba Dad: well son, when a man loves himself very much"

"Why are broken vibrators so rare? Because they are hard to come by."