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Joke of the Day

"6yo wants to ""have a conversation"" with the class bully's parents. Either he's mature beyond his years or he's a mobster."

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"congrats to those who made it onto my ""Not A Lizard"" spreadsheet in 2015. to the rest of u, better luck next year and/or die reptilian scum."
"What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? kluhhh kolchhhh"
"[Exorcism] Priest: What is your name? Demon: Jim Wife: Jim who owes us $100 or hot Jim? Demon: Nice legs Carol Wife: Let's keep him. Next..."
"My father said his Computer crashed... I asked him, what he did. ""I googled 'Malaysian Airlines'"", he replied."
"Men are like placemats, they only show up when there's food on the table. "
"My handicapped girlfriend claimed she could arouse me at any moment but it's hard when she can't move an inch"
"How many police officers... How many police officers does it take to push a black man down the stairs? None, he fell!"
"""Please let go of my hair"" -my gynaecologist"
"What do all 'Tickle Me Elmo' toys receive before leaving the factory? Two test tickles."