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Joke of the Day

"It has been scientifically proven that women with few pounds extra tend to live a lot longer than... ...men who point that out."

"What do they do with Tickle-Me-Elmo's before he leaves the factory? Give him a couple of test-tickles."

"Tried to make a video seductively licking the frosting from an Oreo, but got excited and ate the whole thing. Twenty times."

"Funny joke What do you get when you cross a porcupine with a turtle? A slowpoke!"

"I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, look what's telling me that. You cheat! think your so smart, Making me believe your the most important... pfft!"

"Because Washington passed gay marriage today I threw my human wife in the garbage, fucked 2 donkeys & married a rotisserie chicken."

"Why don't Geordies use scales? Because they can weigh things by eye man."

"Q: Why did the ox fall down the hill? A: It was an oxident."

"I hate it when I'm digging my own grave at gunpoint and I discover buried treasure."

"I wish life had a rewindthe-weekend button."