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Joke of the Day

"Tried to make a video seductively licking the frosting from an Oreo, but got excited and ate the whole thing. Twenty times."

"If you need someone who is good at looking into a full fridge and complaining that there's nothing to eat, I'm your Mayor!"

"I predict the iPad's small-but-not-quite-small-enough size will be a source of great consternation for fanny pack enthusiasts."

"What's the difference between hardware and software? A floppy dick"

"How do you get a fat girl into your bed? Piece of cake."

"Why are air hostesses bad at dating? Most men aren't interested in **plane** women."

"My boyfriend says I'm kind of selfish, but that's not true. I often think of other people. When I'm having sex with him."

"Nerdy joke What did the web server told the browser? My <BODY> is ready. What did the browser answer? Please give me <HEAD> first."

"Darth Vader should've married... A woman named Ella"

"Aww, you ""only wish the best for your exes?"" That's cool, I lie about things too."