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Joke of the Day

"""Write this down."" [Moses grabs tablet] ""Thou shalt have no other Gods bef-"" ""Slow down, fella. It's gonna take me an hour to carve 'Thou'."""

Next Joke
 
"step 1. log onto instagram step 2. find wedding day hashtags, ex. ""SmithWedding2014"" step 3. use hashtag step 4. post pictures of yaks"
"[Post fight interview w/ boxer Joey ""poor choice of words"" Stevens] Joey: ""I just couldn't get that guy to go down on me."""
"A guy was admitted to my local hospital yesterday where they found 6 plastic horses stuck in his ass. The Doctor came out and described his status as Stable........"
"Cop: Hey U! U: who, me? Cop: no the other 1! 1: who, me? Cop: both of U! W: who, us? Cop: Yes you! U: Who, me? Cop: No! No: yes?"
"What kind of musical instrument can you use for fishing? The cast-a-net."
"When my friend told me to stop acting like a flamingo... ...I just had to put my foot down..."
"What do you call a woman with egg and sausage on here face? Cafe"
"Your LinkedIn says you have a job but your snapchat says otherwise."
"So, since The Earth is the third Planet of our Solar System, that would make us all from ''Third World Countries.''"
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