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Joke of the Day

"Cop: Hey U! U: who, me? Cop: no the other 1! 1: who, me? Cop: both of U! W: who, us? Cop: Yes you! U: Who, me? Cop: No! No: yes?"

"I met my wife online. It was love at first site."

"Tuna are probably pretty annoyed with how much we worry about catching dolphins in our tuna nets."

"Sensible dad: I'd like to buy 3 'fleeks' & 7 'swags' for my son. ""Sir this is Urban Outfitters"" Do you have any 'baes'? ""Please leave"""

"I had to remove the battery from my carbon monoxide detector The constant beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick"

"I'm not a liar. I have an English degree; I'm an unreliable narrator."

"Who is in cowboy films and is always broke? Skint Eastwood."

"What's Forrest Gump's Facebook password? 1forrest1"

"Three feminists had a picnic... It didn't last long - none of them made sandwiches."

"What did the buddhist say to the hot dog vendor...? Make me one with everything."