182331

Joke of the Day

"My nan's star sign is cancer. It's pretty ironic how she died. She was eaten by a giant crab."

"Here's to honor!... Get honor, stay honor. If you can't come in her. Come honor."

"There's no use crying over spilt milk. Particularly skimmed milk. Skimmed milk is watery enough without you sobbing into it."

"""I'd hit that!"" -Helpful blackjack dealer"

"Ever been so tired at work that people thought you were drunk? I hope so because that's the only excuse I have for being drunk at work."

"I'm not positive, but I think when you say you're ""over"" something, YOU STOP TALKING ABOUT IT."

"Every 60 seconds in Africa... a minute passes, you racist."

"Q: What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board? A: It's difficult to open the legs of an ironing board."

"My entire life is just a test To see whether I'll commit suicide or homicide first."

"What is the last thing that tickle-me elmo gets before he leaves the factory? Two test tickles"