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Joke of the Day

"Game Teacher: Peter, why r u late for school again? Peter: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football & the game went into extra time."

"Did you hear that Napoleon broke the Sphinx's nose with a singe shot? It was a one-hit wonder. I'll show myself out."

"Why are X-wings so grubby? Rebel scum."

"I've never written a first draft of something that didn't make me think anyone who read it would immediately cut ties with me as a person."

"On a positive note, women with full hour glass figures don't have to wear watches."

"Why did the semen cross the road? Because I wore the wrong socks to work today."

"can't wait to see how dudes figure out how to still get really mad at each other when cars are all self-driving"

"Oh my god, did you hear Bob Barker died? He was hit by a BRAAAANNDDD NEEEEWWWW CAAAAAARRRRR!"

"As a male college student, the only thing that's disappearing faster than my money... is my Kleenex."

"Why did it take the computer so long to decide whether it wanted to buy an Egyptian cotton sheet? Because it had too many threads."