174584

Joke of the Day

"I left my .door file open for too long. It was a .jar."

"GUY 1: Why can't we skip rope without society judging us? GUY 2: What if we occasionally beat the crap out of each other? Boxing is born."

"Apologies to my forehead for assuming that automatic doors will just ""open."""

"Q: Why was six scared of seven? A: Because seven ""ate"" nine."

"Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick."

"What time is it when you have to go to the dentist ? Tooth Hurty !"

"hey look! *picks up a tiny ghost costume off pavement* how cool is thi ew why is it wet? ""dude, that's a condom"""

"When you realize... The Ghostbusters (2016) budget was 153 million dollars. *facepalm*"

"You know social media has gone too far when all your Christmas presents have twitter integration. Sent from my ugly sweater."

"I tried to buy some camouflage pants the other day... But, I couldn't find any."