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Joke of the Day

"Jeopardy] Alex: This floats your boat. Me [buzzing in]: What is buoyancy? Alex: I'm sorry. The answer we were looking for is, Whatever."

"*6 hours of Russian roulette* Me: ""I think I forgot to load a bullet in this gun."""

"Why Hitler used uBoots? Because the enemy did nazi them coming."

"What's E.T short for? ...'cause he's got little legs"

"asked my little bro for a couple of chips... he brought me three, said 2 were a couple and the third was my side chip"

"Why wasn't the fish allowed to play in the band? Because he couldn't tuna piano! ^^^^I'll ^^^^show ^^^^myself ^^^^out"

"What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? Dam!"

"Why did Jared vote for gore in the 2000 election? Jared doesn't care for bush"

"I'm surprised 4 isn't an unlucky number. Nothing good ever comes from putting 2 and 2 together."

"Why do moths fly with their legs spread? Have you ever seen the size of mothballs?"